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Joke of the Day

"Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt."

"What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker? A STD."

"Ladies, if you ever need to fend off an attacker, just start talking about what's been going on in your life."

"Relationship status bathing everyday isn't a priority anymore."

"Ma'am, your son is dead. Why, what happened, officer? He wasn't white and that wasn't right, we found he was black, and that was whack, so we shot him in the back."

"Saw two blind people fighting today. I said, ""I think that the guy with the knife will win!"" They both ran away. Edit: Grammar"

"A pedophile was taking a small child into the woods at night.... The kid say, ""These woods are really scary"". The pedophile replies with, ""You're telling me, iv'e got to walk out of here alone""."

"What do nine out of ten people like? Gang rape."

"A group of lingerie models were protesting They were met with stiff resistance"

"If a tree falls in the forest...... If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"