191813

Joke of the Day

"A guy wakes up in the middle of the night. Goes to the toilet to take a piss, looks down and says: -You see, I get up when you need it."

"I recently purchased a teddy bear for 10 And named it Mohammed, then sold it for 20. My question is.....have I made a Prophet?"

"Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not ""English"" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet."

"Wanna hear a pizza joke? Nah it's too cheesy!"

"Me: C'mon. Dog: No. Me: Let's go. Dog: No. Me: Please? Dog: YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!? Me: It's just rain. Dog: I already pooped in your shoe."

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"I used to be Irish... Then I became completely full of ire."

"What are the people from the country Lesbia called? Lesbians"

"I noticed you just hit the snooze alarm. MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"

"DUMPED BY HIS GIRLFRIEND Q: Why was the 6'6"" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9"" girlfriend dumped him? A: He was nuts over her."