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Joke of the Day

"Me: C'mon. Dog: No. Me: Let's go. Dog: No. Me: Please? Dog: YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!? Me: It's just rain. Dog: I already pooped in your shoe."

"Who invented Bull Riding? Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me."

"My family hates it when I swear, but I sound like a child using mild words.... ....damned if I do, darned if I don't"

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room He said: ""Thank you."" I said: ""Don't mention it."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women Iced cold and milky white"

"Tips African country M'lawi"

"Definition of a tree.... Something that spends 100 years growing so that it can jump out in front of unsuspecting women drivers"

"I'm half Canadian. Not really. But I am partly sorry if I happened to offend anyone."

"I'm no architect, but I don't think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll."

"Whats the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job does not give you a raise."