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Joke of the Day

"Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright"

"Incest... When you hit a little too close to home"

"Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? ""It's open."""

"What's the similarity between my dad and a magician. They both like sawing people in half for fun"

"Girl Dance Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"What do hippies call there sex life before they get married? Prius"

"What do you call a fish without any eyes? Boneless chicken"

"I thought girls liked guys who are assholes? The entire subway ride I refused my seat to like 20 women and not one gave me their number."

"""Easy Come, Easy Go"" - My clinic name if I ever become a urologist."

"Me: ""Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession."" Priest: ""You're off to a bad start."""