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Joke of the Day
"What does Santa call his English Elves? Subordinate clauses. ... I'll see myself out."
Next Joke
"Fun Fact: When the bartender asks if you want two or three fingers, he isn't always talking about the liquor."
"Schrodinger's Cat Walks Into A Bar and Does Not..."
"What's the difference between a banana and a helicopter? You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter"
"""Morning sickness"" should also be used to describe the hatred of waking up in the morning. ""Sorry I was rude. I had morning sickness."""
"What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee"
"My two year old nephew, though adorable, is a pretty violent drunk."
"Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any good it only has sentimental value. Mugger: That's all right. I'm sentimental."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? ... ackhh achkghk"
"I'm guessing I'm not married because I'd take a bullet for a grilled cheese before I'd take one for a girl."