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Joke of the Day

"My little brother wished for bigger family gatherings So I listed my single uncles on dating websites. ""You want aunts? That's how you get aunts."""

"If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact."

"At church, last sunday ..., the preacher said ""Jesus died for your sins"". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted ""Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"""

"I tried learning braille, but it was really tough. Those bumps are hard to see"

"Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of them even look like people."

"What does a boy get every month, but a girl doesn't. A paycheck"

"[2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human"

"I am 38, last night i was out with my 19 y.o. girlfriend and someone yelled ""paedophile!"" ... It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti? A Pastatute"