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Joke of the Day

"My mom texted me asking what ""DTF"" meant and I told her ""Dedicated To Family""...I seriously can't wait for her to use it."

"What's the difference between a Dutch comedian and a piece of steel pipe? One is a silly Hollander, the other is a hollow cylinder."

"5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions"

"99% of my socks are single. You don't see them crying about it."

"Why do farmers have potential to become great judges? They recognize bullshit from miles."

"What cell service do nuns in wheelchair have? Virgin Mobile"

"A joke There was a dragon one time who didn't care about shit. It was real mad a lot. It said, ""fuck you"" to just about every one. Except for this one guy who he kinda liked."

"So I'm dating this half-Korean girl... Her mother's Korean, her father's Korean, and her legs got ripped off in a car accident"

"I hoped to be a mortgage some day... But it looks like I'm forever a loan."

"We were so poor Dad could only afford to drink 3-4 nights a week."