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Joke of the Day

"99% of my socks are single. You don't see them crying about it."

"How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. "

"They say money doesn't grow on trees So what are hedgefunds then?"

"Mail some pirates a treasure map leading to the exact spot where you need a hole dug for a tree."

"What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus? The police made him bring it back again."

"250 dogs escaped from the SPCA Police are following a number of leads."

"Why can't Obama dance? Cause he has two leftist feet."

"A girl at my work is going to be having a baby. I haven't decided which one yet though."

"Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl? He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh."

"I lost 25 pounds. Just want to say I lost 25 pounds and I'm proud of myself. The last time I was betting on horses I lost 100,-."