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Joke of the Day

"My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9."

"If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?"

"When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that."

"Hey man, 1980 called. It wants its--oh, can you hold on? I've got 1945 on the other line, and he's conferencing in 1973 so I should get this"

"Saw this on a wall while on some down time in the restroom, made me laugh ...Silly This is my first time posting, but this made me laugh ... Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? ... .. Answer: Dr.Dre"

"*at movie theater* M: I'll take a large popcorn with extra butter. H: Sure. What movie are you seeing? M: I'm not."

"Why your mother had you Your mother did not get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with you because she wanted you, but because the abortion cost more then keeping you alive."

"A vegan, an atheist, and a Crossfitter walk into a bar.... The only reason I knew is that they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it."

"I'm pro-choice; pro-life is for babies."

"I'm 99% sure I have trust issues. Though I'm not sure I trust my math. Edit: I grammar well"