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Joke of the Day

"When a man falls over the side of a boat... the crew shouts ""Man overboard!"" When a woman falls over, the crew shouts ""Full speed ahead!"""

"What is the most common kind of martial arts among Germans? Jewjitsu"

"There once was a man named Dave... He kept a dead whore in a cave, she was missing a tit and she smelled like shit, but look at the money he saved!"

"A man walks into a bar It was a metal one. He hit his head and got a concussion"

"Roses are red....violets are blue I'm using my hand... But I'm thinking of you."

"What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo."

"What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister? They are both in bread."

"In choosing clinical logic and detached isolation over laughter and passion, you went full-Vulcan. Everyone knows you never go full-Vulcan."

"How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it."

"Good thing they had us dissect frogs in high school that prepared us for all the times in real life we've had to dissect frogs."