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Joke of the Day

"Good thing they had us dissect frogs in high school that prepared us for all the times in real life we've had to dissect frogs."

"A 450lb man just hit on me... I tried to let him down as gently as possible... But I'm no forklift."

"Did you hear about the 2 antennas that got married? It was a nice ceremony ...but the reception was amazing."

"How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read."

"What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ? He cut all his fingers off !"

"Can I ask you a quick question? What is the quickest way to the front page?"

"Good is the enemy of great. Sponge is the enemy of math. Metaphysics is the enemy of Walmart."

"What do you call somebody after you give them a noogie? A knucklehead."

"After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c*nt."

"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"