395

Joke of the Day

"Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible."

Next Joke
 
"Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer? Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping."
"What do you do when your daughter says batman raped her ? Switch to the spiderman outfit."
"A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing. 'He's like a fish out of water.' You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' No, I mean he's dead.'"
"""How'd the date go?"" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist."
"ME: I'd like to order...the updog. WAITER: How would u like that prepared? ME: um medium well? W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done"
"The problem with millennials is they were taught to look up to Pokemon not *struggles to think of a thing old people respect* Mussolini"
"Q: What weapon is most feared by knights? A: A can opener."
"The IOC has claimed that they will catch Olympic drug cheats. I'm not so sure - they're pretty fucking fast."
"Why did the tomato turned red? Because it saw the salad dressing"