190986

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need."

"Seriously considering robbing the ski mask store down the street but I'm having the hardest time deciding what to wear"

"This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash."

"What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"

"Me and the other guys from the circus.... ... took a night off to see some stand-up comedy but he was really mean and cutting. He went straight for the juggler."

"We're out of toilet paper, also don't pet the cat."

"It's so cold this morning I had to seperate my dogs poop into two seperate bags and use them as hand warmers."

"Apparently France wanted to change their name after WWII. Unfortunately the name Iran was already taken."

"I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!"

"I got punched in the face by a hipster today... I yelled ""Bro, that's not cool!"" He replied, ""not yet""."