84131

Joke of the Day

"I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!"

"What two words result in the most marriages? Screw it. EDIT: u/Zui_Quan has a better answer lol"

"Man opens a fridge and sees a rabbit... He says ""What are you doing there, rabbit?"" Rabbit replies ""This is a westinghouse, isn't it?"""

"My mom says that you are what you eat. That's strange, because I haven't eaten any sexy beast recently..."

"My GF passed away... and I wake up every day with mourning wood now."

"Last night my wife said to me, ""What would you do without me?"" Apparently, ""Your sister"" was the wrong answer."

"Just realized that I'm technically a vegan for the hours between dinner & breakfast. No wonder I feel so fucking superior all the time"

"Just like Jesus I can walk on water, if it's cold enough."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because North Korean missiles cant go that far"

"What happened to the octopus in the football game? He had tentackles."