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Joke of the Day

"It's so cold this morning I had to seperate my dogs poop into two seperate bags and use them as hand warmers."

"Four girlscout cookie boxes down in a day and I realized I have a problem ... I'm running out of cookies."

"Ever heard of the undertaker who accidentally dug another body? He made a grave mistake."

"I told my 5 year old that he was allowed to choose 1 item from the grocery store so we're walking home with a cart."

"I wanted to take up yoga. I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said ""what's your flexibility like?"" I said ""I can't do Tuesdays""."

"one time I saw a guy playing with a yoyo walk into a street sign. I laughed so hard that it changed me. It changed everything."

"Why are gay guys so good at moving? They are used to getting their shit packed"

"Valentines Day is the day that the ""V"" and ""D"" come together .."

"What do you call a baby deer's droppings? FawnDoo! Nailed it."

"My Girlfriend is leaving me after learning that I spent our life savings on a penis extension. She said that she could not take it any longer."