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Joke of the Day

"It was Christmastime, and everyone was feeling merry.. ..so she went home. ---- I know it works better when spoken. My grandpa used to say this line every Christmas. RIP Tata, you made reddit."

"What's the difference between when you're hungry and when you're horny Where you put the cucumber."

"What do you call an exceptional Mexican? Nacho average guy"

"Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester... Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino!"

"[ouija board] ""Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] ""A needy board?"""

"What does it take to finish a race? More than a Holocaust"

"STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME - Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today"

"What does Britain and a dead pig have in common? Both have been fucked by David Cameron."

"Snowmen Doe's anyone know the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? No? well I'll tell you snowballs."