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Joke of the Day

"Everybody is tweeting ""OMG I CANT BELIEVE ITS MARCH"", I'm like tf' you you think came after February ? February Jr.?"

"I don't care if you're a dog person or a cat person, I generally don't date anyone with a tail."

"What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant? A tusky!"

"Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days? Because 7 days makes a hole weak"

"Barbie comes with GI Joe She only fakes it with Ken. Saw plenty of pregnant Barbie jokes in this sub-reddit, but not this one."

"Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can't spot the douche at work today, then it's probably you."

"*drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*"

"What was Sisyphus's favourite type of music? Rock 'n' Roll"

"This bottle of OxyClean says ""GREAT ON WINE AND TOMATO SAUCE"". Call me crazy, but I think they're trying to poison Italians?"

"Hey, yeah I'll be ready in a minute. I'm just going to shower and jerkoff. just kidding, I'm not going to shower"