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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to start my own last minute grandma rental service... But the name InstaGram was already taken."

"Why do Java programmers wear glasses? because they can't C#"

"What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ? A cricket ball !"

"Thank you, Mario, for rescuing our daughter... So, what now? Like, do we just pay you standard plumber rates? We didn't ask you to do this."

"It's about damn time we start talking about spontaneous combustion. It doesn't happen in a vaccuum."

"My old math teacher used to dress pretty casually. So one day, when I walked into class they were all dressed up, suit, tie, etc. I strolled up to them and asked, ""What's the equation?"""

"I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse April fools! It was just a drumstick."

"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."

"*buys a bunch of stuff at Costco* Sir, you wanna box for those? ""Nah, I hate violence. Can I just pay cash?"""

"America needs to build a statue of the man who killed Hitler"