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Joke of the Day

"Thank you, Mario, for rescuing our daughter... So, what now? Like, do we just pay you standard plumber rates? We didn't ask you to do this."

Next Joke
 
"Procrastination Eh, that's not an important joke; I'll tell that one later."
"Why don't astronauts take anything seriously? They don't grasp the gravity of the situation..."
"''You will die alone.'' I hate fortune cookies. Wait! This is a note from my mom!"
"Just been sent to jail for the first time and spent the first half hour getting ass raped. My Uncle Frank takes Monopoly far too seriously"
"*approaches drive-thru window on a camel* ""Sir, here's your 17 big macs and a large milkshake."" May I please have a straw? *camel collapses*"
"Before going to your partner's parents' house for the 1st time, it's very important to ask ""How much Jesus stuff can I expect to see?"""
"Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense"
"[Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people"
"A 3 legged dog walks into a bar... Bartender says ""what can I get you?"" dog replies ""nothing.... I'm just looking for the man who shot my paw"""