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Joke of the Day

"Me [31M] and my wife [28F] are having issues with our different needs with sex. We're trying to work out the kinks."

"Mom stop you are not funny Son: Mom stop you are not funny, you never make jokes. Mom: I made you."

"Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 89% water. I can walk on babies. I am... in jail."

"I'm off to a 3yr olds party. There'll be tears, tantrums and throwing up on the carpet. But enough about me, Im sure the kids will have fun."

"*lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down"

"I quit smoking, drinking and chasing women... Worst 10 minutes of my life..."

"Sometimes I think my dog is only interested in food, then I realise that's mostly all I'm interested in as well. He's alright."

"It's good to know how to jerk off sometimes... It comes in handy."

"Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school? Because he was always below a C"

"Why did the motorcycle suddenly stop running? Because it was two tired."