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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I think my dog is only interested in food, then I realise that's mostly all I'm interested in as well. He's alright."

"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right."

"What do you call it when Einstein faps? A stroke of genius."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her."

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute"

"Those Essex Girls Whats the difference between a plat of spaghetti and an Essex girl The plate of spaghetti moves when you eat it!"

"Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic. lel"

"I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say ""uh-oh!"" from another room."

"How do you identify a vegan? Listen closely."

"Why is this wet? Just one of the fun games you get to play as a parent."