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Joke of the Day

"I'm no Dean Martin. I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris"". He said ''Eurostar?'' I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''."

"gardening i spent alot of my days trying to grow a specific seasoning in my garden. it took forever, but once it finally produced, i had the thyme of my life."

"It's about time I talked to the boy about the birds and the bees. If memory serves, it's the stork that delivers and the swallow receives?"

"""Would you just look at all this bullshit?!"" - enthusiastic fertilizer suppliers"

"My exercise routine is a running joke."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants The bartender asks whats up with the wheel on his pants. The pirate responds with ""Yarr, it's driving me nuts."""

"I gave my keys to the Taco Bell valet when I showed up and now he's nowhere to be seen."

"When people don't make sense, listen to music. It always does."

"Jay-Z has an underachieving brother named Lay."

"cheap toilet paper. it isn't worth shit."