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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants The bartender asks whats up with the wheel on his pants. The pirate responds with ""Yarr, it's driving me nuts."""

"Did y'all hear the one about the tortilla song? Don't have source, but now that I think about it, it may have been a rap"

"Whenever I feel a conversation is becoming dull, I start talking about sunscreen... because it's topical."

"Knock-Knock [pic]"

"Me: Mom...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside"

"I love the way the Earth rotates... It makes my day."

"Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal. The French have taken the Silver medal. The Somalians have taken the boats."

"Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music."

"What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down? He fell on his ash."

"If a gay guy gets paralyzed... Is he a fruit or a vegetable?"