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Joke of the Day

"When people don't make sense, listen to music. It always does."

"Anyone want to know my secret to quit procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"It's been so long, I think my virginity is growing back."

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"The word 'phonetically' doesn't even start with an f. Shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us."

"What is Mozart doing right now? Any one else get that pm? /u/jokinglikeabot"

"Pal - ""Can you help me put this IKEA desk together?"" Me - ""I'll need a screwdriver."" Pal - ""Sure what type?"" Me - ""Greygoose or Kettle One."""

"Schrodinger's Letter If you put the letter "" Y "" in a box with a few other letters to form a word, and close that box, can you tell me, without opening the box......... Is "" Y "" a vowel?"

"Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull."

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."