190646

Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife why she never tells me when she has an orgasm... She said ""I don't like ringing you whilst you're at work."""

"I hate when people make fun of people with epilepsy It makes me so mad I shake and twitch with anger"

"Me: Go ahead. Waiter: Huh? Me: You're staring at my hair. Go ahead & touch it. Waiter: There's a leaf in it."

"""Count your blessings. Then count them again."" - OCD optimist"

"DNA What do you get when you mix human and goat DNA? [Kicked out of the zoo.](/spoiler)"

"I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids"

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... ...on six months of sobriety."

"I still struggle daily with how Ed Hardy happened"

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Led Zeppelin"

"hey @BestBuy a worker here has a hole cut out of his polo for his nipple ring to show through. he says ""it's new and needs to breathe"""