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Joke of the Day
"""Count your blessings. Then count them again."" - OCD optimist"
Next Joke
"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or they're going to think we're nuts!"
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says... ""Why the long face?"" The horse says, ""My wife was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."" The bartender says, ""Holy shit! A talking horse!"""
"Girls these days wont eat any produce, but will lick where a bro deuce."
"Your girl may be jealous of the time you spend on your phone. To be fair, it has 4G and she only has one, and it's hard to find its signal"
"Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing."""
"The keurig machine at work acts like its going to give me coffee, but it turns off at the last minute. I feel like I'm getting brew balls."
"Why are neutralization reations illegal? They involve assault."
"Love means nothing to a tennis player. That's the joke, thanks for reading!"
"Me: You a good personal trainer? Him: You bet your emotionally distant dad I am. Me: [through tears] Wow, that's personal. You're hired."