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Joke of the Day

"Maggie Thatcher is due to be buried in a man made lake. Well, it will be once everyone finishes pissing on her grave."

"Did you know Elvis used to have a boat called the ""Jailhouse""? That fucking thing rocked."

"Our principal is so stupid Boy: Our principal is so stupid. Girl: Don't you know who i am? Boy: No. Girl: I'm the principal's daughter. Boy: Do you know who i am? Girl: No. Boy: Good (walks away)"

"What's the difference between a fly and a bird? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird."

"I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say ""Mommy steals credit cards"" when they're in a checkout line."

"If your key ring is full of keychains with clever sayings, plus a stick filled with glittery water, I know you had a baby in high school."

"The Catholic Church is selling bath bombs! *puts Jesus Christ limited edition bath bomb into water* *water turns into wine* Thank u Jesus"

"Why didn't the construction worker like to get wet? Because he didn't drywall."

"There was a masturbating contest ... ... I didn't win though, I came in second place."

"Dorothy: Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Yellow Brick Road: I have a boyfriend."