21249

Joke of the Day

"I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids"

"Your face. There's a bat for that."

"I went out for dinner last night. The Captain's Basket was on special for $7.00. I tried it just for the halibut."

"Just walked into my local court house, they were all sitting around in a circle with black candles and robes trying to summon a jury #funny"

"According to a dating app, Amazon employees are more desirable than employees at other tech companies. Plus, if you sleep with one, they will recommend someone else you might also like."

"When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage."

"What side dishes did Jesus eat at the last supper? Peas and hominy."

"I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like ""good luck guys"" and walked away. I'd be a great mother."

"I fell off a 40 foot ladder Luckily it was the first step"

"26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."