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Joke of the Day

"Gold walks into a bar... So gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out! I show myself out..."

"Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you're still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!"

"1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don't admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening."

"If the answer is 'cockrobin', what's the question? 'What's up my ass, Batman?'"

"Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff? tequila!"

"I forgot my baby was in the backseat of my car and I accidentally threw my case of beer on him He was ok though. It was light beer."

"Chicken Joke Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to your house. Knock knock -Who's there? The chicken."

"Like a midget at a urinal.... I'm going to have to stay on my toes. Credit: Naked Gun"

"*SEES SPIDER DRESSED AS A CLOWN IN THE SHOWER* **LEAVES THE UNIVERSE**"

"Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party? Because they were 50% off!"