36185

Joke of the Day

"I like NPR because you always know how much saliva is inside every announcer's mouth at all times."

"My cleaning lady always leaves me a list of supplies she needs to clean the house. Not sure what she needs 20 boxes of cold medicine though"

"I got into an argument with my parents about video games. It was a stupid reason to fallout for."

"Why is lettuce my favorite vegetable? Just cos."

"TIL Every animal has its own specific mating call A bird sings, a frog croaks, a badger clickets, a grasshopper chirps, a deer croons, and I beg."

"Donald Trump could very well be our next President. Laugh, because it's a joke, guys. Guys? Guys! ...It's not funny anymore..."

"Sorry sweetie, but no. Alcohol is not an excuse for being a dirty slut. Nice try though."

"Will you tell you the story of the huge sad wall? I shouldn't, you'll never get over it."

"What's the difference between a business meeting and a battle ground? #Deadpeople"

"Ugh. Do I really need to register to your website to leave a comment? I just need to disagree with this asshole real quick."