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Joke of the Day
"How do you titillate an ocelot? You osculate its tit a lot!"
Next Joke
"I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power."
"I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""F**kin' large ones"" is not the correct answer."
"Dad: ""So what are you going to do after you graduate?"" Me: ""well, mom said we'll probably go out somewhere to eat"""
"My friend told me he thought I was a hipster. I told him I thought I was a hipster way before he did."
"Most action figures are surprisingly inactive."
"How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor"
"What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit? Try to neghostiate."
"What animal is two animals at the same time? The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait."
"This tweet has been downloaded to your system and is now scanning your hard drive for copyrighted material. Stand by. SCANNING - 23%"