190420

Joke of the Day

"Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have herpes. Laugh all you want. You'll still have herpes."

"Why is Santa always jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"At a live orchestra, and lightening strikes, who gets hit first? The Conductor"

"The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!"

"Always end a conversation with ""gotta run"" so people think you're into fitness"

"I try to use proper grammar and punctuation in all of my tweets, until I'm about to go over the 140 character limit...& den u no how it b."

"TUPAC IS DEAD BIGGIE IS DEAD AND ME ALSO I AM FEELING NOT SO GOOD"

"Did you hear about the farmer running the illicit sex ring? Apparently it was a pig fucking deal."

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere"

"Never argue with somebody legally blind about spear fighting... they can hardly see your point."