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Joke of the Day

"A server asked the manager whether she should give a fork or spoon with the customer's mashed potatoes. The manager said ""Personally, I don't give a fork."""

"When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again."

"Me: you're like heroin. Her: Why? Because you're addicted to me? Me: No, because you're ruining my life."

"Why would Adrian Peterson be a great baseball player? Because he's a switch hitter"

"*pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*"

"Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks? Pupil: What does it spell then !"

"You dig ,I dig, she dig, he dig, we dig, they dig. It's not a great poem but it's very deep."

"Why aren't there any mexicans in the Olympics? Cuz all that can run, jump or swim have got their ass over here."

"What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway? A nun with a spear through her head."

"If you didn't take a selfie at the gym, were you really there?"