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Joke of the Day

"Me: you're like heroin. Her: Why? Because you're addicted to me? Me: No, because you're ruining my life."

"What do you call a woman flying a plane? A pilot, you sexist!"

"I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them..."

"Guess a movie funded by reddit featuring Tom Hanks and Matt Damon.???? Shaving Pao's Privates. ;)"

"Barbie comes with GI Joe She only fakes it with Ken. Saw plenty of pregnant Barbie jokes in this sub-reddit, but not this one."

"Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person"

"A girl went to Thailand... And came back a changed man."

"I like my Thanksgiving turkey like I like my own ass On the dining room table, with my family gathered round, and with my grandmum's fists in it pulling out the stuffing."

"What has no life but a lot of spirit. (A ghost) You've been a terrific audiance!"

"What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common? Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead."