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Joke of the Day

"When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again."

"What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say? ""Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"""

"I'm making a movie about a guy who thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him, so he secretly followers her around to keep an eye on her. It's called ""Bae Watch""."

"Knock Knock Kid: knock knock Dad: Who's there? Kid: Hatch Dad: Hatch who? Kid: Bless You."

"How does R. Kelly respond when girls ask for a rating on a ten scale? Urinate"

"WHAT IS SEX? HUSBAND: A minute of PLEASURE, then years of PRESSURE! WIFE: Moments of ECSTASY, followed by decades of SLAVERY! MISTRESS: Just stolen TIME, but never MINE! HOOKER: NEXT!"

"What's a Tennessee tornado and a Texas divorce have in common? Someone's gonna lose a trailer."

"""Stay strong!"" I said to my wi-fi signal."

"A woman cries to her husband ""honey, the fridge isn't running"" Husband replies ""Good. I'm not in the mood for fast food"""

"I feel like a white girl prime number because I ALMOST literally can't even..."