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Joke of the Day

"*pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*"

"What do fat girls do in the summertime? Stink."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding. I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"What's Alderaan's main export? Dead bodies."

"How does a black woman know that she's pregnant? The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons. (aaannnd i'll see myself out)"

"Not a catfish. Just behind on my lip waxing."

"Two Cows are scared of getting mad cow disease A cow walks up to another cow and asks ""Are you scared of Mad Cow Disease?"" He replies, shocked ""No, I'm a Duck."""

"I got a discount circumcision from a friend. He did a terrible job, but it was really a fantastic discount. Now I'm not sure if I should complain or not. I'm really torn."

"How do you tell Michael Jackson's age? You put a color scale next to his face."

"What do you get when you mix batteries and water? Watt-er"