190204

Joke of the Day

"did you get the job? ""i don't know yet"" when will they tell you? interviewer: ""keith can you please ask your mum to wait in reception"""

"If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, ""Did you mean Chuck Norris?"" It simply replies, ""Run while you still have the chance."""

"When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm You could say I got Little Seizures."

"I just heard an old man tell this joke on live radio... - Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Little Boy Blew - Little Boy Blue, who? - Jared, from Subway, that's who"

"Why doesn't Texas float away into the Gulf of Mexico? Because Oklahoma sucks."

"How many people does it take to start a riot? -3/5"

"People have came up with a digital wallet... But last time I checked I didn't get charged for using a credit card"

"People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York."

"My boyfriend stole my banana... My boyfriend stole my banana so I called him out on it. He said, ""Oh I'm sorry. I can get you another banana that's just as yellow."""

"There once was a man from Nantucket... who didn't know what a limerick was."