202028

Joke of the Day

"People have came up with a digital wallet... But last time I checked I didn't get charged for using a credit card"

"Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across America join together to raise the country's obesity statistics."

"What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves? Your mom."

"Building collapses in Detroit this morning. Damage is estimated at 12-14 dollars."

"Rubix cubes are like penises... The more you play with them, the harder they get."

"I'm going to have an ear transplant later tonight. Thanks in advance for the well wishes!"

"Why didn't they let Voldermort play quidditch? ...because he'd always just Slytherin the grass."

"My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Football Manager. In my defence, I've got Dani Alves, Kompany, Vidic and Lahm."

"My friend had party the other night and didn't invite me, only midgets. He said it was just a little get together."

"Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer."