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Joke of the Day

"When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm You could say I got Little Seizures."

"What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese !"

"I just got a Facebook invite to my brother's non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more."

"I like my women how I like my wine. Mellow, full bodied, and with a penis . . ."

"i had an asthma attack with all that wheezing you would of thought i would have heard them hiding"

"Q: Why did the chicken say ""Meow oink bow-wow and moo?"" A: He was studying foreign languages."

"Did you hear about the Blonde who bought a brand new pair of panty hose, she put em on then shaved her legs and recked 'em"

"How do you know shes the one? Because she Gives you a blowjobs even when she's dead."

"Democrats must be so thirsty Cause of all the salt."

"I did a stand up routine on fonts, but nobody laughed I'm a Comic, Sans the humor."