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Joke of the Day

"What type of knot do you tie in space? An astronaut."

"Who ships Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio the most? Not Titanic"

"My girlfriend asked me if I felt like aural. I think that's where it goes in one ear and out the other."

"Donald Trump's doctor has recently prescribed him Prozac. He told him it would help him control hispanics."

"A blonde and a brunette are exchanging wild stories... Brunette: ""have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" Blonde: *ponders for a moment* ""No but I've been swung around by the tits before!"""

"The Model Her Garb was just pure Garbage, and she had a silly old Bag: she drank so much that we all went Dutch.-and of course she lost her Rag."

"By the cup of Nescafe even the most secret thoughts turn into words, and by the bottle of vodka into actions."

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender kicks him out. Argon doesn't react."

"The very first joke I ever learned as a kid. How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A Buccaneer. (Wah, wah, wah, waaaaahhhhh)"

"I had a cough like that once... I didn't kick the bucket, I was just a little pail!"