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Joke of the Day

"Thirty days sober folks. Not consecutively, but here and there over the years. I'm estimating."

"I have sex almost every day. Today I almost had sex, yesterday I almost had sex..."

"Why do black people have white palms? Because everyone has a little bit of good in them."

"An Englishman an Irishman & a Scotsman... An Englishman an Irishman & a Scotsman get into a cab. The driver turns around and says ""Sorry gents I'm Muslim, I can't take a joke."""

"What's Pink and Hard??? A Pig with a Flip Knife."

"I'm Godzilla's gift to women!!! *walks around toy store destroying doll houses*"

"When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now."

"Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves"

"Why is it easier for married black men to cheat? Because their ring doesn't leave a tan line when they take it off!"

"Went to the Doctor Yesterday... Went to the Doctor yesterday, he thinks I suffer from Paranoia... Well, he didn't say that, but I know he is thinking it!"