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Joke of the Day
"I wore my golf socks today There's a hole in one"
Next Joke
"[wakes up from a 15 year coma] sweet, x files still goin strong"
"What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that"
"what do u call a tilt-a-whirl operator with a sunburn? carne asada"
"I'm never gonna tell the person I'm meeting up with that you said hi."
"[wife leaving for the weekend] ""Baby formula is in the cupbo--"" ""I think I know how to make a baby. Now go & enjoy your dad's funeral."""
"First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper."
"Dog ate raw chicken so I called the vet to see what I could do He asked what I think they eat in the wild. Basically, he called me an idiot"
"Hey u should give your secret boss this Coke. *bottle says ""Share a Coke w/ the Drug Maker Guy""* *undercover cop's fake mustache falls off*"
"What is the loneliest number? My phone number, call me please! #Please don't"