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Joke of the Day

"Tampax has announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel. This is for the Christmas period only."

"My husband wants a fourth child. I hope his new wife will be good to my three."

"""The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."""

"So I brought a girl home from the bar last night... When we got to bed, she said ""Give me twelve inches and make me bleed!"" So I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."

"I found a note in a vase a year ago and was to meet someone here for money. No I didn't."

"My favourite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog."

"Never look down on anyone. Unless you're a lion cub named Simba and you're being held over a crowd of animals by a weird monkey doctor."

"A patriotic Helen Keller song... ""Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'Maughhghariianoo oohhghhoo onooa oooaughhahg'."""

"My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist. I told him to stop being so clothes minded"

"On a scale of 1 to 100, how mature do you think you are? 69"