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Joke of the Day

"I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait sorry, that didn't come out right : I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month."

"What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you fucking racist."

"Vice Presidents and Homicide Detectives have a similar job... ...They both work if someone dies"

"friend of mine collapsed while he was putting the washing out the other day and had to be rushed to hospital. He almost pegged it."

"Young boy: Mommy, Mommy I can't stop spinning in circles! Mommy: Shut up, or I will nail your other foot to the floor too!"

"Daddy long legs are the NBA players of spiders."

"What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ? Tagliateddy !"

"Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae School"

"Who drives away all of his customers? A taxicab driver."

"Why's the sink depressed? It's been feeling drained"