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Joke of the Day

"Why's the sink depressed? It's been feeling drained"

"Fighter plane escorts a passenger jet in to Manchester airport as the pilot reported a suspicious item on board. The United team bringing back a trophy this season."

"""Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?"" I mumbled into the tv remote."

"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter."

"Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland? Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution... But it didn't really land. I guess execution really is key"

"Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."" He doesn't react."

"Quack Quack Who's there? A duck."

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"Hey girl whats your sine? It must be 90 degrees because you're the 1."