117697

Joke of the Day

"Young boy: Mommy, Mommy I can't stop spinning in circles! Mommy: Shut up, or I will nail your other foot to the floor too!"

"It's wrong! If gay marriage is legal who will stop me marrying this painting of a horse. This majestic painting. Who will stop me kissing it"

"How do you get away with murder? Become a cop first."

"The urgent care center in town was torn down... ...it was clinically depressed"

"I tried to sell my old dogging stuff on eBay this week, without success. No bidders but I did have 12 watchers."

"Where are most fish found ? Between the head and the tail !"

"Normal things that become creepy when you look both ways before doing them: Pick up a kid Unlock a door Load a rolled rug into your trunk"

"My friend is addicted to brake fluid... ...but he says he can stop anytime"

"Why do sharks live in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze."

"A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby"