189737

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow that had an abortion.... Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now."

"""I'm sorry I could never do that for you,"" said the cat sulking away after catching me on the internet looking at pics of cats in space."

"Time Magazine lists the 140 best Twitter feeds. Maybe later my fax machine will list the best smartphones."

"I wish I could just ""like"" a text message so I don't have to respond."

"Why did Jesus come to Earth? To get to the other side. Ba dum tssshh"

"I heard you are what you eat Must explain why your such a huge dick"

"If you're walking on sunshine, please adjust your dosage accordingly."

"Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, ""Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"""

"Why can't you starve in the desert? Because of all the sandwiches there."

"What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit? Durian durian! im sorry"