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Joke of the Day

"Time Magazine lists the 140 best Twitter feeds. Maybe later my fax machine will list the best smartphones."

"Which position is for a baseball player wearing a buttplug? Shartstop"

"They say that money can't buy you happiness, but being broke buys you nothing..."

"A computer once beat me at chess... ...but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"I just want to rub all over you........ ........with the front end of my car."

"I got punched in the face last week - I now spend most of my time stroking gappy teeth with my tongue. I should probably stop making out with pensioners."

"What's Santas favorite band? Sleigher."

"How Jesus was named: Mary: Joseph, I'm having a baby. Joseph: JESUS CHRIST!"

"A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, ""no, I'm travelling light. """

"Day 218 of making fun of CrossFit."