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Joke of the Day

"What do a crematorium and an auditorium have in common? It's apparently frowned upon to jerk off in either."

"We're all born with scars. from the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, we all share that same mark... Bellybuttons."

"Knock knock Who's There? Olive. Olive who? Olive my jokes are bad."

"What's brown and sticky? Muhammed Ali opening a can of coke"

"Obama in Berlin joke President Obama in Berlin outlining that maybe massive walls and state spying are not so bad after all."

"My pregnant wife said her doctor told her no more sex until the baby is born I asked, ""What did your dentist say?"""

"Children Fever Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one."

"Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!"

"[customs] ""Passport?"" *I lift up my bag & a severed head falls out* ME: OH NO OH GOD *still rummaging through bag* ME: I've forgotten it"

"When Karma comes back to punch you in the face...I'll be there...just in case it needs help."