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Joke of the Day

"Every single time I go out drinking with unicorns, they use the old ""no pockets"" excuse to stick me with the bill."

Next Joke
 
"Raising ones leg and releasing a loud fart is a proper response for any man who doesn't like his wife's tone of voice."
"""Yes, I'm still single and underemployed, but at least I'm not MARRYING CHARLES MANSON"" --women at family holiday gatherings from now on"
"I should go outside and enjoy the amazing weather but my computer cord isn't long enough."
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass."
"How does Michael J Fox take his martinis? Shaken. Not stirred"
"A feminist once asked me, ""What's your view on lesbians?"" I said, ""1080p"""
"I hate snakes because they have no feet. You could say I'm... lacktoes intolerant *opens another beer*"
"What did the deaf, blind, mute, handicapped kid get for Christmas? Cancer."
"What does a nosey pepper do? Get Jalapeno business."