189526

Joke of the Day

"Every single time I go out drinking with unicorns, they use the old ""no pockets"" excuse to stick me with the bill."

"i show up at the range wearing a t-shirt that says ""I Wont Wear The Earplugs"" and i m promptly directed back to my car by staff members"

"Went to an Air & Space museum today, nothing was in there. I asked ""So what's the exhibit?"" & the guy was like ""You're breathing it, man."""

"Mountains are not funny. They're hill-areas."

"What did zero say to eight? Nice belt!"

"Why don't Leave voters go to the cinema? Because they're unable to see the big picture."

"I can't stand when people say a babies age in months after a year old. ""Yeah he's 29 months old"", B$tch don't make me do math."

"Apparently ""if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly"" was not the tip this waitress was expecting."

"What's a ego maniac's favorite candy? Air heads"

"Why was Hitler so obsessed about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million Jews waiting for him in hell."